I have a blue paper fish hung up in my room I stole from my last school dance. Thats the inspiration for the name: Blue Fish On The Wall. This a blog where you can come to have a good laugh or maybe a small cry. Maybe come here to just have your heart warmed. <3

petitedeath:

strikelikeahawk:

jessica-messica:

zagreussits:

How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.

  1. Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
  2. Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
  3. Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
  4. Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
  5. Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
  6. People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.

Vital Information for your Everyday Life.

Reblogging this so I remember to show it to my wife.

I used to do this in high school cause 2 days of the week we did internships and shit and i had to bus alone to downtown seattle and there always creeps. I recommend listening to this.

petitedeath:

strikelikeahawk:

jessica-messica:

zagreussits:

How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.

  1. Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
  2. Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
  3. Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
  4. Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
  5. Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
  6. People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.

Vital Information for your Everyday Life.

Reblogging this so I remember to show it to my wife.

I used to do this in high school cause 2 days of the week we did internships and shit and i had to bus alone to downtown seattle and there always creeps. I recommend listening to this.

xxjustsomebloggerxx:

thegoddamazon:

wifelife:

Girls, when you’re feeling sad, just remember:

  • a vagina can go back to it’s original size after taking something 20x its size
  • a penis will end up looking like an empty potato sack that’s been run over quite a lot if it does

You can do this girl.

Be as resilient as your vagina.

image

Shine bright like a ‘gina

 THIS IS THE MOST UPLIFTING POST

This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever read.

psychoticpixiedreamgirl:

intlsugarbaby:

sugar-babe-kira:

european-sugar:

prostheticknowledge:

Creepface

Online image search tool and Chrome extension that claims to locate US sex offenders in it’s database with facial recognition analysis:

This Free online safety tool uses Facial Recognition to scan photos of Potential Dates, Coaches, Teachers and more… Check them all with CreepFace instantly!

Just Right Click and Select “Scan with CreepFace” to check any online photo against 475,000 Registered Sex Offenders in the U.S.

Facial Recognition powered by FacialNetwork.com

The Creepface online search engine can be found here

REBLOOOG

reblooogggggg!!!!!

Keep all the girls safe!
And stay safe girlies.

Reblog constantly!

again, i can see this being extremely useful for sex workers who perform irl sexual labour in a one on one setting

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $15 iTunes gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 
Rules:
MBF me (jerkidiot)
Must reblog/like this post
Ends Friday, April 18th and the winner will be notified via ask box.
Winner will get:
The $15 iTunes gift card (the code, through ask box)
5 free promos (to 70k+) whenever!
That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $15 iTunes gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 

Rules:

MBF me (jerkidiot)

Must reblog/like this post

Ends Friday, April 18th and the winner will be notified via ask box.

Winner will get:

The $15 iTunes gift card (the code, through ask box)

5 free promos (to 70k+) whenever!

That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $15 iTunes gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 
Rules:
MBF me (jerkidiot)
Must reblog/like this post
Ends Friday, April 18th and the winner will be notified via ask box.
Winner will get:
The $15 iTunes gift card (the code, through ask box)
5 free promos (to 70k+) whenever!
That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $15 iTunes gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 

Rules:

MBF me (jerkidiot)

Must reblog/like this post

Ends Friday, April 18th and the winner will be notified via ask box.

Winner will get:

The $15 iTunes gift card (the code, through ask box)

5 free promos (to 70k+) whenever!

That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

breannainn:

and-y0u-l3t-h3r-g0:

sassy-spoon:

gemiblu:

sleepy-karkat:

cruelfortune:

dirteye:

ay ay Ron

finally someone made gifs for this

are you seriously gonna make a gifset of a video without linking everyone to it

i’m gonna fucking shit myself

holy crap

i can’t breathe

call 911

ok no I’m sorry but the gifset does nOT DO THE VIDEO JUSTICE HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK

Jay-quellin

This will never stop being one of my favorite skits.

(Source: ilikeubuturcrazy)

HIGH SCHOOL

This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
know ourselves.

—HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird (via blythebrooklyn)

Please. :)

  • 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
  • 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
  • 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
  • 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
  • 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
  • 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
  • 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
  • 8. How often do you listen to music?
  • 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
  • 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?
  • 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
  • 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
  • 13. What about ‘R’?
  • 14. Can you drive a stick shift?
  • 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
  • 16. Are you going out of town soon?
  • 17. When was the last time you cried?
  • 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
  • 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
  • 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
  • 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
  • 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
  • 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
  • 24. What are you sitting on right now?
  • 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
  • 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
  • 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
  • 28. Do you get a lot of colds?
  • 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
  • 30. Does anyone hate you?
  • 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
  • 32. Do you like watching scary movies?
  • 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
  • 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
  • 35. Did you have a dream last night?
  • 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
  • 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
  • 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  • 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  • 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
  • 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
  • 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
  • 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
  • 44. What’s the best part about school?
  • 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
  • 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
  • 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
  • 48. Were you single over the last summer?
  • 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
  • 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
  • 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
  • 52. Are you nice to everyone?
  • 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
  • 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  • 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
  • 56. Do you think you like someone?
  • 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
  • 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
  • 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
  • 60. Do you hate anyone?
  • 61. How’s your heart?
  • 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
  • 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
  • 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
  • 65. Are your toenails painted pink?
  • 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
  • 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
  • 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
  • 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
  • 70. How do you look right now?
  • 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
  • 72. Can you commit to one person?
  • 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
  • 74. Have you ever felt replaced?
  • 75. Did you wake up cranky?
  • 76. Are you a jealous person?
  • 77. Are relationships ever worth it?
  • 78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
  • 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
  • 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
  • 81. Last person you cried in front of?
  • 82. Is there someone you will never forget?
  • 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
  • 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
  • 85. Are you over your past?
  • 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
  • 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
  • 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
  • 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
  • 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
  • 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
  • 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
  • 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
  • 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
  • 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
  • 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
  • 97. Who do you have texts from?
  • 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
  • 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
  • 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
  • 101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
  • 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?